The #1 Thing Most Women Don’t Plan For During Pregnancy—But Should
Pinterest boards filled with nursery inspirations.
Saved reels on “what to pack in your hospital bag.”
A Notes app overflowing with baby names.
If you’re pregnant, chances are you’ve already spent hours (maybe weeks or months) planning your birth and preparing for your baby’s arrival.
And you should. Birth matters. A cozy nursery matters. Feeling ready for those first newborn days matters, too.
But here’s the truth no one tells you: most women skip planning for the part that matters just as much, if not more…
Postpartum care. For you.
What Most Women Forget to Plan For During Pregnancy
Pregnancy apps and hospital tours prepare you for the logistics of birth. Baby registries prepare you for swaddles, strollers, and cute baby clothes.
But very few conversations—medical, cultural, or even social—prepare you for what happens to you after the baby arrives.
The result?
Many new mothers describe the same moment: home with a newborn, exhausted, overwhelmed… and completely blindsided by the lack of support.
They had planned the nursery down to the exact paint colors, but never thought about:
Who would cook for them as they recover.
Who can help them with chores when they are exhausted.
What their own recovery would look like and who can support them.
How they’d navigate the tidal wave of emotions and hormones that follow birth.
The real stories are sobering.
Many women describe their postpartum as “being hit by a truck.” Not exactly the pastels and rainbows you see on Instagram.
We recently surveyed a group of smart, well-accomplished women—lawyers, marketing consultants, holistic CFOs, creative directors—each one of them was just as unprepared for postpartum as the other.
Here’s how they described their postpartum experience—raw, unfiltered, and far from ideal:
“I was a mess after my oldest was born. The lack of support (and lack of a way to explain my sadness because I didn't know how to say anything other than "I'm disappointed") affected me a lot because it took me almost two years to wade through it.”
“I think my postpartum period lasted longer than necessary and left me energetically and physically depleted due to lack of support, or, more accurately, ‘support’ that wasn't actually helpful. Family can be well-intentioned, but their ‘help’ can backfire in big ways. I also did not expect how stressed my partner was going to be, which left him unable to support me emotionally and sometimes physically, even as I recovered from actual surgery. It was shocking.”
“I am still struggling 3 years later. I thought I was okay, but have been now experiencing burnout and depression since I have no family or friends near me and have felt I have done this on my own.”
This is why Mother First exists. To prevent more stories like this.
We believe postpartum deserves as much, if not more, attention as your birth plan or your nursery.
Why Postpartum Care Gets Overlooked
In the U.S., the story of pregnancy often ends at birth. The spotlight shifts entirely to the baby, while the mother is neglected.
Culturally, we’ve normalized the idea that mothers should sacrifice, “bounce back,” or figure it out alone.
Yet, across the globe, postpartum has always been recognized as its own vital chapter: 40 days of structured rest, support, and nourishment designed to restore the mother fully: physically, mentally, and emotionally.
From zuo yue zi in China to la cuarentena in Latin America—and countless other names of the same concept across the globe—mothers were never expected to enter postpartum blindfolded and alone.
They were given a framework, a blueprint for healing, and most importantly, a cultural understanding of postpartum care as a baseline for human flourishing, not a luxury.
Somewhere along the way, that wisdom got lost.
What You Can Do Instead
Cultural and societal changes take time. But it can start with you:
By educating yourself on what’s possible.
By prioritizing your postpartum care.
By having a postpartum plan in addition to a birth plan.
By communicating your needs to your family and friends.
You get to set the standard for what you want to experience postpartum.
Below are a few things you can begin to think about and plan for to ensure a positive postpartum experience—before the baby arrives.
Prepare a Meal Plan
Prepare a meal plan of warm, nutritious foods for your first few weeks postpartum.
Across cultures, regardless of cuisine, the emphasis is the same: warm, easy-to-digest foods such as soups and porridges.
The goal is to allow your body to work as little as possible. Raw, uncooked foods take the body longer to digest, and cooked foods provide more energy, which is needed for healing and taking care of a newborn.
Here are ways that you can ensure you have nutritious food ready for you during postpartum:
You can precook the meals and freeze them.
You can ask family, friends, or neighbours to bring you cooked foods.
You can order postpartum meals to be delivered to you.
You can hire a doula who can bring you food.
You can hire a postpartum nanny who lives with you and cooks for you.
Whatever your budget and preferences are, come up with a meal plan that suits your needs, and communicate it clearly to the people who can support you with this.
Secure Company with Knowledge You Trust
So many women describe feeling alone during postpartum, despite having loving partners or family.
The fact is, your partner can be just as clueless and stressed as you, if not more. And your family members might have their own opinions about what postpartum should be like, based on their own experience.
If you want to design a postpartum experience that suits your own personal needs and preferences, get clear on who you want around and who you want support from.
This could include:
Friends and family members who you know have you best interests at heart, free of their own personal opinions.
Online groups with experts you trust where you can ask questions.
A hired doula whom you have interviewed and vibe well with.
A postpartum nanny who is recommended by others who have had a positive postpartum experience.
A lactation consultant who can help you with breastfeeding, judgment-free.
Again, whatever your budget and preferences are—come up with a support team of people that you trust.
Receive Help with Household Chores
After giving birth—whether vaginally or by C-section—the last thing you should be worried about is dishes in the sink or laundry piling up.
Household chores may feel small, but they are often the very things that tip a recovering mother into overwhelm. Having someone take that weight off your shoulders isn’t indulgent—it’s essential support.
Here’s how you can ask for support and help ahead of time:
Have an honest conversation with your partner about taking full responsibility for cleaning or errands in those early weeks postpartum.
Ask family or friends to pitch in on a rotating schedule.
Hire help—whether a weekly housecleaner, a doula who folds laundry while tending to your needs on her visits, or a live-in postpartum nanny who takes care of everything.
Whatever your situation, make a plan before the baby arrives. Think of it as building a buffer—so you can spend your limited energy on healing, resting, and bonding with your baby, not worrying about unwashed dishes and baby bottles.
The Bottom Line
At Mother First, we believe this is the kind of fundamental support every mother deserves. When you invest in your recovery, you’re not just tending to yourself—you’re laying the foundation for your baby, your family, and your future.
That’s why we’ve created a space that blends global traditions, expert insights, and lived stories, so you don’t have to navigate this alone.
