How to Help Your Village Help You
A guide to shaping postpartum support—before the baby arrives
Across many cultures, the first forty days after birth are treated as sacred—a protected season where a new mother’s needs are anticipated long before the baby arrives.
There is no expectation she will “just know” what to do. Her community prepares for her. In the U.S., that window is often approached with guesswork.
Most women enter postpartum already exhausted, overwhelmed, and unsure of what they actually need.
And amid the fog, they hear the same well-meaning lines again and again:
“We’re here for anything you need.”
“Just tell us what you need.”
“I’m here if you need me.”
Sincere? Absolutely. Specific? Not at all. Helpful? Only if you have the bandwidth to direct and delegate…which most new mothers don’t.
You’re the one undergoing a profound transition, yet you’re also the one expected to manage the support around you.
What’s framed as support becomes another mental task added to an already full plate.
But it doesn’t have to be this way.
When you have a plan—thoughtful, aligned with who you are, and shared in advance—your village can step in without needing your direction.
That’s where Mothermoon™ can help you create.
Below are 3 steps from the Mothermoon 5-Gate Process that will help you design a postpartum support plan before the baby arrives, so your needs can be met before they arise.
Because every mother deserves a well-supported postpartum.
3 Key Steps for Designing a Postpartum Support Plan:
1. Begin with Your Vision
Before thinking about logistics, meals, or schedules, ask yourself: How do I want to feel in postpartum?
Do you imagine a quiet, cocooned space?
Do you find comfort in having company nearby so the days don’t feel isolating?
Your personality and lifestyle shape this vision. There’s no “right” answer. One woman’s ideal may feel overwhelming to another.
This is the moment to get clear on your desired postpartum experience…before well-intentioned people show up with support that doesn’t actually support you.
Many women skip this step because planning feels more familiar than pausing. But logistics without direction is like boarding a plane without knowing the destination. You’ll get somewhere, but is it where you want to go?
Inside Mothermoon™, you’ll slow down, turn inward, and become crystal clear around your destination before planning begins.
2. Select Your Companions
In cultures with structured postpartum traditions, a new mother is never left to navigate the early weeks alone. Someone is always there, devoted to her well-being, and knows exactly what to do when.
Here, you get to curate that support circle yourself.
Ask yourself:
Who understands you best?
Who respects your pace?
Who will support based on your needs, without inserting their personal opinions?
Your companions might include a postpartum doula, night nurse, nanny, trusted friend, or a family member, depending on your budget, preferences, and lifestyle.
This isn’t about having a big team. It’s about choosing aligned people who bring the energy and skills that match the feeling you mapped out in Step 1.
3. Share Your Vision with Intention
In cultures with established postpartum traditions, everyone knows their role. Care is instinctive because it’s been modeled across generations.
In the U.S., that shared understanding doesn’t exist unless you create it.
Don’t think of it as an added burden, but rather a unique opportunity to create an experience custom tailored to you, free from pressure or outdated expectations.
Once you’ve defined your vision and support circle, communicate it intentionally…because a plan without communication is just a wish.
This isn’t about assigning tasks. It’s offering your village the insight they need to show up in ways that are truly supportive, not stressful.
Inside Mothermoon™, you’ll find scripts that help you share your needs with clarity.
Why a Postpartum Care Plan Matters
According to responses from the Mother First Survey, women often describe their postpartum experiences such as:
Shock and exhaustion
Tension with partners who are also overwhelmed
Family trying to help but missing the mark
None of this is inevitable.
What’s missing is communal understanding and frameworks—ones that other cultures have preserved for centuries.
Your village wants to help. They simply need a shared direction.
Commonly Asked Questions
Do I really need to plan for postpartum? Everyone says we’ll ‘figure it out.’
Most families do “figure it out”...but often through exhaustion, miscommunication, and friction.
Postpartum is predictable in its needs: nourishment, rest, emotional steadiness, and help with the basics.
Planning doesn’t make your postpartum rigid; it makes it less overwhelming.
What if my postpartum ends up looking different from what I expected?
That’s why you plan for it now.
A clear vision and shared expectations create a flexible framework that can adjust as needed.
It’s much easier to shift from a plan than to build a plan while you’re exhausted.
Think of it as having an itinerary to follow when you’re traveling.
Do you have to follow it step-by-step when you land? No.
But it’s certainly nice to have an idea of what you want to experience instead of trying to figure it out on the ground.
I’m worried this is going to overwhelm my partner or family.
Thankfully, it’s usually the opposite. Most loved ones want to help, but they simply don’t know how.
A plan gives them confidence. It removes guesswork and aligns everyone in the same direction.
The real overwhelm would be trying to figure everything out from scratch after the baby arrives.
What if I don’t know what I’ll need during postpartum?
That’s completely normal. The Mothermoon™ 5-Gate Process is designed to help you uncover needs you might not have the words for yet.
Through guided meditation, reflection, and research, you’ll begin to understand what you need based on your personality, values, and lifestyle long before postpartum hits.
What if I am the only one who cares about this level of preparation?
You’re not alone—many modern women feel this way.
Postpartum has been culturally overlooked, and you’re simply connecting to a truth most people have never been taught: that postpartum care needs to be planned for. When you share your vision invitationally, not defensively, your loved ones are often grateful and rise to the occasion because they clearly understand what you need.
Does planning take away the intuitive side of motherhood?
Not at all. Structure creates the safety that allows your instinct to flourish.
When your environment is calm and supported, instead of chaotic and reactive (thanks to your plan), your intuition has room to speak.
Intuition lives in thriving mode, not survival mode.
Is it too early to think about this?
If you’re asking the question, you’re right on time.
Postpartum support isn’t something you cram for at the end. It’s something you design with intention. The earlier you begin, the more spacious the process feels, and the more supported you’ll be when it matters most.
What Becomes Possible When Your Village Has a Shared Blueprint
When you have a clear, personalized postpartum support plan, everything shifts:
Your partner knows exactly where to step in
Your family & friends know how to help by actually being helpful
The mental load becomes shared instead of carried alone
You’re not asking for too much.
You’re asking for what mothers elsewhere have had for centuries: support that is organized, reliable, and structured.
Begin Your Mothermoon™
If you’re ready to begin planning for your ideal postpartum experience, Mothermoon™, will guide you through its Signature 5-Gate Process.
Each Gate is designed to move you closer to the postpartum you deserve—supported, intentional, and distinctly your own.
Are you ready to design the postpartum season you deserve?
